Tryst
by Ashen-Star-Eclipse
Summary: Lucy was in love before, in another land. Now it’s her wedding day. LucyOC, LucyTumnus. Oneshot.


Summary: Lucy was in love before, in another land. Now it's her wedding day. Lucy/OC, Lucy/Tumnus. Oneshot.

**AN::** (I apologize for the sucky summary.) Well, this is something that kinda poured out in spurts. I started it in the middle of summer, and worked on it until today. It's my first Narnia fic, though I love Lucy/Tumnus. Please tell me how it turned out.

_**Tryst**_

_by_

_**blondgirlshavefun**_

For some reason, this is not how I thought it would be. There is something about it that seems off. Tepid, unenthusiastic, I smile like I should. It doesn't reach my eyes, but he doesn't realize that. He never has.

I think about the first time I met him, standing there with his umbrella. It reminds me of another meeting, so long ago now, in a snowy wood. A red scarf was wrapped around his neck. Red always was his favorite color. I've tried to go back, so many times. Even after Aslan said I could no longer return, I tried. I looked for ways in, ways back through time, when being a queen of Narnia meant something. _Once a Queen or King of Narnia, always a Queen or King of Narnia…_ But never at the same time. Time passes quicker there. And ever so slow here.

I like him well enough, I suppose. It's a good match, I'm told. Even Susan has flown back from America to be here- her sister, getting married to the son of a member of parliament? Why, it's astonishing! She doesn't remember, or she chose to forget, how close I was to doing that before, when we were queens. I would have been twenty-one, the same age I am now. He would have been one-hundred and thirty-two. But time, even in Narnia, passes slowly for fauns. If he was human, he wouldn't have been a day over twenty-seven. An even better match.

I suppose there are some things I shouldn't remember, like the way his hair curled about his face in the morning, or how I realized that I wanted the faun to be my Tumnus, or the flutters in my stomach when he kissed me for the first time. And there are some things I yearn to forget- how I felt when he returned my love, how he shied away at first, when he thought I was too good for him. But I never forget, and though the memories haunt me with what never will be, I find that if I ever do forget, I will feel like I will be missing more of myself. I need all that's left of me, for I gave most away long ago.

………………

_I was thirteen when I noticed something different about Mr. Tumnus. Or, rather, it was something different inside of me, my perception of him. I don't know if it was a gradual shifting or if I woke up one morning and realized it, but somehow my thoughts of Tumnus changed from friendly companion, with whom I was most comfortable, to something more. I started worrying about how I acted and what I wore- I was on guard against any imperfection that I could fix. _

_I suppose I acted like that long enough for him to comment on it._

"_Lucy," he said one day on our way for his house for tea, a weekly ritual, "You haven't been yourself lately. Is something wrong?"_

_I shake my head no._

"_Well, if you're having problems, you know you can always come to me." He replies. I fancy for a moment that I detect a sigh. But how do you tell your dearest friend that the problem is _them

"_Mr. Tumnus, you are a dear friend. If I had any problems that could be talked about, I would come to you first." Diplomacy is one of the first actions learned by a queen. Besides, if I told my siblings how I felt about Tumnus, well, at best they'd call me a silly girl and tell me that I've confused friendship with a crush. _

………

_Over the years, foreign dignitaries came to call. Usually male, they attempted to woo either Susan or I, in hopes to gain a hold in the profitable Narnian empire. Shy Susan, my witty, intelligent sister, changed when they came to call. She would flirt and dance and tease, never meaning a thing. She was older then I, so I had time to watch this with interest, and enjoy it. When, however, the attention turned to me as well, I slipped away from balls and banquets. I told myself it was because the men were rude and loud and overbearing, but I couldn't lie for long. _

_One night, escaping yet another gathering, I slipped down to the ocean. The moon was at it's smallest crescent before the black moon- the sliver of light gleamed down upon the dark waves casting a surreal glow upon the water. It made me feel at ease with the world, and I sat upon the golden shore watching the waves slip in with the tide. The water crept closer, easing its way to the hem of my gown. I took a deep breath, letting the clean, crisp salt air fill my lungs, my soul. It was a moment of peace that I longed for, but rarely had._

_I wasn't alone for long. The waves had almost reached my bare feet when I felt a presence behind me. There was only one person who ever followed my escapades to the ocean. And as much as I was overjoyed, there was something else that fought for attention: fear. He still didn't know my feelings. And I wasn't inclined to reveal them._

"_Hello, Mr. Tumnus." I said, eyes still on the sparkling waves. I pulled my bare feet under my dress' hem, and hugged my knees. The wind tugged at my hair, pulling more of it out of the complicated knot Susan had insisted on. _

"_May I join you, Lucy?" he asked. Like every time he joined me, his voice sounded unsure that I would acquiesce; I smiled at the familiarity of it._

_Like every time before, I replied, "You know you never have to ask, Mr. Tumnus."_

_He sat beside me, hoofs planting themselves firmly in the damp sand. We stayed in silence, the waves continuing their never-changing pattern. It was comfortable, familiar, and I didn't want it to ever change._

… … …

_A year and a fortnight later found me in the same place. It was my seventeenth birthday, and the ball held in my honor was filled with eligible suitors- a vain and pompous bunch that held my interest for not a moment. _

_I pulled off my crown, and set it beside me in the sand. I didn't want to be 'Queen Lucy', a fine lady ready for a match. I wanted to be just 'Lucy,' a seventeen-year-old girl, if only for a night. _

_The full moon cast a surreal glow upon the water. Waves shone with a silvery-pale light, like molten moonshine. A breathtaking sight, if only I was in the mood to cherish it. As I felt a presence near me, I smiled._

"_Hello, Tumnus." _

_He sat beside me, bracing himself with his hoofs as always. Glancing over at him, I commented, "You didn't ask, Mr. Tumnus."_

_He looked over at me, a small smile on his face. His summer scarf was pulled gently by the wind, floating softly to my arm. "You called me Tumnus, Lucy."_

_I blushed. I always referred to him as Tumnus in my thoughts. Laughing gently, I asked, "Did I?"_

"_You did." He paused, and looked me in the eye. "I think I like it."_

"_Oh." I flushed again. Grasping my circlet, I concentrated on fiddling with it. _

_The waves rolled in, white foam bubbling on the top. I heard Tumnus sigh between the crashes. I chanced looking at him. Tumnus's eyes were trained on the sea, a look of intense focus on his face. _

"_Tumnus, whatever is wrong?"_

"_Why aren't you inside, Queen Lucy?"_

_I was taken aback. Tumnus only called me 'Queen Lucy' when he was angered at me, or when I was acting childish. "Q-queen Lucy? Why are you calling me that?"_

"_Why are you not inside with your suitors?" he avoided my question._

"_You didn't answer my question."_

"_You didn't answer mine. Why are you not at the party, my Queen?"_

_Tears welled up in my eyes. Tumnus was furious with me! I couldn't understand it. Time seemed to slow as I stood. The world was in silence- I couldn't hear the ocean or the faint strains of music coming from the palace. _

"_I don't want to be at the party! All the bowing, and flirting, and insincerity! I hate it! I don't want to be courted by those pompous needle-brained beetles! They are all the same, and think that I'm an incompetent ninny. I can't stand it! I don't want to marry them. I'm already in love with someone!"All the blood drained from my face when I realized what I had last said._

_Tumnus looked at me sharply. "You're in love? With whom?"_

_I collapsed back onto the damp sand. Slowly, I raised my eyes to meet his. "With whom do you think, Tumnus?" _

… … …

"_We're off to catch the White Stag tomorrow, Tumnus." We were sitting in the palace study adjacent to our quarters. Tapestries hung rich in delicate embroideries, gold and silver thread winding over plush red fabric. Two comfortably-overstuffed chairs sat in the secluded corner we had come to think of as our own._

"_And if you catch him, what will your wish be?"_

_I shifted in my chair. "Tell me what you would wish for first."_

_He laughed. Twining his hand in mine, he said "I need no wish from the Stag."_

_I smiled, perfectly content. "Nor do I."_

…………………………

The church is quiet as he slips the ring upon my finger. Out of the corner of my eye I see my brothers. Edmond is quietly seething, thinking that Paul forced me into marring him. Peter has a polite smile, but I see through the façade. He sits regally, straight and tall, like he did when he was high king. He wants me to be happy, but I think he knows that the one who made me happy is no longer alive, except in my memories.


End file.
